


Love and Comfort

by Canyousensethesarcasm



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Adoption, Baby, F/M, Illyrian, To Be Continued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-22 17:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8293409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canyousensethesarcasm/pseuds/Canyousensethesarcasm
Summary: The one where Nesta adopts an abandoned Illyrian baby. It's just a one-shot right now, but I'll probably continue it. I really love writing Nessian with a baby.





	1. The one where Nesta adopts an abandoned Illyrian baby

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by the Little Women musical, and a lot of Christmas music, which is why it will probably continue. So stay tuned and I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it. 
> 
> Tumblr: Canyousensethesarcasm.tumblr.com

She found her in the woods wrapped in a thin gray blanket barely big enough to cover her small feet. Fury swept through her at the memory. She was tiny, far smaller than any child she had seen thus far. Her face was so pale she could have sworn the baby wasn’t breathing. Her heart clenched, still feeling the terror twist in her gut. 

She had swiftly lifted the baby into her arms, cradling her like she did when Feyre was born. A very long time ago, long before their lives turned upside down. She hadn’t let go of the little girl once before she reached the healer, only taking time to glance at her and adjust for comfort. The baby needed warmth and Nesta had a well of fire inside her. She would keep her safe and snug. 

Cassian had showed her where a healer lived when they first started working together training Illyrians. 

“Just in case.” He had said when she gave him an incredulous look. 

“We both know battles come with wounds.” 

She had never needed the healer beforehand and with fae magic she had never found it necessary. Any major injuries she sustained had long been healed since the war and any new injury could be healed with time and magic, two things she had an infinite supply of. 

Once at the small cottage, the healer had taken one look at her and, with a grim look on his face, beckoned her inside. He had not commented on her haggard appearance, did not question the likelihood of her finding a baby during her training in the wilderness. He had just held the door open and told her to set the baby down on the padded table. 

Nesta hesitated. A tug in her heart said that this baby would be taken care of and to let the man do his job, but she was reluctant to let go. This baby had already seen too much neglect and she wasn’t about to let it happen again. 

When she finally caught her breath, she could see that the child had tufts of black hair curled at the end. She had big, bright blue eyes, like the sky she had almost not been able to see. She’s beautiful Nesta had thought. When cries began to make their way out of the little girl’s mouth, Nesta’s eyes shimmered. She has strong lungs too. 

The healer had examined the little girl with the utmost care and an inkling of guilt formed in Nesta for thinking he would harm her. It was quickly smothered before she could dwell on it. Warriors never trusted someone they just met. 

“Well, looks like she’ll be okay. She’s small that’s for certain, but she’ll live.”

Relief washed over Nesta and before she could express how grateful she was, he spoke again. 

“If you plan on keeping her, she’s going to need a lot of attention. She needs to be fed at least four times a day, though I’d recommend a little more till her weight is up.”

She blanked at this. Now that the initial panic was over, Nesta hadn’t thought about what to do after the baby was okay. She wasn’t ready to take care of a baby. It had only been a few years since she learned how to take care of herself, and even that could still use improvements. 

“Also, her wings are crooked which is why I suspect they left her out in the woods. Illyrians and their precious wings.” Eyes rolling and disdain coating his voice. 

“She probably won’t be able to fly anytime soon, maybe not at all. Only time will tell. But perhaps by some miracle she’ll be able to. After all, she did find you today.”

Everything had rushed into Nesta’s head and all she could do was nod. Grabbing the newly swaddled baby out of his arms, she had just given the man her thanks and bid him farewell. Her mind in a daze and her vision slightly hazy. She now had a baby. 

She remembered the fear, the fear of not being good enough for this child, not being able to take care of her the way a baby needed to be taken care of. Nesta had never been good at expressing her affections, not good enough for a child who would need more love than she knew how to give. 

Nevertheless, she would not leave the baby to squander out in the woods. The little girl would have not survived what lurked in the night. 

Yet the thought of leaving the baby at all, made her heart clench and her stomach turn. No, no, that is not an option. Nesta had always been headstrong, if she was going to keep this baby, she was going to commit and be the best care taker anyone could have ever had. This baby would yearn for nothing. She would try her best and she’d be damned if any harm came to this tiny child she carried in her arms. 

When her decision cemented itself in her mind, there was no turning back. She could only hope, and with her head held high above her, she made her way to someone who knew what to do when a crisis came upon him. Cauldron knows he’d been in enough of them.  
~

When Cassian saw Nesta make her way to him, his beating heart betrayed him. With Nesta, he always felt like he was on an unsteady sea that would not cease its violent and chaotic nature. Which is to say that his stomach always felt queasy. Not that he would tell anyone. 

His relationship with her, although heavily improved, was still rocky. She was mostly comfortable with him and occasionally she would ask him for his help, something she rarely did for anyone else. He considered that a success in itself. He made her smile on more than one occasion, and although laughter was harder to come by, he brought that out of her too. 

The pulling in his gut only got stronger as time passed and their relationship progressed, but he knew Nesta was Nesta and she would come along when she was ready. He’d wait for her forever if he had too. He thought maybe their relationship would progress a little faster after the war was over, but no such luck. He couldn’t blame her, she needed to heal and so did he. 

As Nesta got closer to him, he could see that she was carrying something. Or someone. He titled his head. Is that a baby? 

“I found this baby in the woods and I’ve decided to take care of her. End of story. Goodbye.” 

Cassian barely had time to blink before she was heading out. He ran to catch up with her. 

“Wait, wait, wait. What? A baby? In the woods?” Nesta merely rolled her eyes. 

“That’s precisely what I said two seconds ago. Anymore questions?” 

He was taken back. 

“Yes. Now sit down and tell me what happened.” He said motioning for her to sit beside him. 

She sighed as she always seemed to do when she was talking to him. 

“I was training in the woods, you know, like I always do.” Cassian nodded. 

“and I see this bundle laying on the floor near a tree. I look to scout what it is, and there she was, half covered in blankets. I took her to the healer, he said she’d be okay and he told me that if I planned on taking care of her I’d better learn how.”

Cassian was at a loss for words. For once. He noticed how Nesta seemed to grasp the little bundle tighter. 

“Cassian, I thought about giving her to someone but I can’t. She’s too small and she has no one. I don’t trust anyone to take care of her, not after I found her in the woods all alone. Her wings aren’t good, no Illyrian’s going to want her. And I can’t…”

Cassian placed his hands on her shoulders, he could feel them trembling beneath. She was overwhelmed that much he could sense through the bond they both chose to ignore for now. She was going to take care of this child, some part of the bastard in him swelled with pride at the women before him. People like her made good warriors, people like her would make good mothers. 

“Shh. It’s okay. I understand. You do what you have to do. I’ll talk to Rhys about letting you take a leave for a while. First things first, though, I’d like to meet this little tyke.”

A small but warm smile bloomed on Nesta’s face. He loved that look, especially when it was directed at him. One day. 

She held out her arms and parted the blankets wrapping the child. Before he even saw her, he knew that baby had to be strong. To survive in these conditions as an unprotected child, even for a while, was asking for a death sentence. Nesta had arrived just in time. The cauldron had blessed this little girl. She was beautiful was the first thing he noticed, then her eyes. They were a shade bluer than Nesta’s. 

He glanced at the wings she mentioned, tightly woven to the little girl’s body. He immediately knew why someone had given their daughter to the unforgiving mountain side. Rage fitted itself in the pit of his stomach. Her small wings were not in the alignment stable enough for flight, but she could grow out of it. Hopefully, and if not well, there were other ways of being an Illyrian. 

He remembered when his wings were shredded and a hollow sort of feeling permeated his body. This little girl might never feel the shifts of wind underneath her, may never taste the freedom that comes from kissing the sky. Nesta looked at him, probably could sense the shift of moods. 

“I don’t care if she can’t fly, if she never can. Her worth is not designated by how strong her wings are, I don’t care if she an Illyrian.”

The conviction in her voice was one he knew well. She always knew what to say and when to say it. It was one of the things he loved most about her. 

“Well, if you’re going to keep her, she should probably have a name. Unless you want all of us to call her kid for the rest of her life.”

Nesta rolled her eyes, and the side of her mouth tilted upwards. She moved to stand up, grasping the baby firmly in her arms. She looked at me then, before she started up again.

“Nina. Her name is Nina.” And with that she walked away. 

Cassian continued to stare in the direction she left in, utterly transfixed by this woman and now her child. Nina and Nesta. Strength and fire. World get ready you have not seen the last of them. With that Cassian moved to start up training again and then to find Rhys, he never once thought of anything else but them.


	2. The one where they bake cookies together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta, Cassian, and Nina bake cookies, while ignoring lover's tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made this chapter in an effort of procrastination, hope you enjoy.

It had been a rough five years for Nesta. She had shouldered the responsibility of raising, at least, a decent human being, commanding an army, training warriors, all while not losing her head or her temper. Although the latter happened more often than she cared to admit. 

She couldn’t regret it, though. Not when she watched Nina’s eyes droop during a bedtime story, trying, with all the power she held in her tiny body, not to fall asleep. Not when Nina would run up to her and give her the warmest hugs and the biggest smiles, no matter how long she had been gone. Not when her body felt whole and her heart felt full. No, not even on the most difficult days could Nesta regret taking Nina in and creating a home together. 

“Mama, look, this one’s a pumpkin.” Nina said with giddiness in her voice. 

She held up a cookie cutter that was indeed shaped like a pumpkin. They had went to the outdoor market in Velaris and had bought a whole assortment of those when the air had started to turn cooler. Nina had spotted them. One look at the little girl’s face and Nesta knew there was no getting away from it. 

Anyways, they both knew full well that they would use them to the best of their abilities and they had. Every Sunday since, after their bodies stretched and their eyes flinched at the sun, they’d crawl into the kitchen and get out bowl after bowl after bowl. They’d spend hours smelling the spices permeating the room and feeling the warmth that came with having the oven on all day.  
It was the only day Nesta had an entire day to spend with Nina. She’d made sure her baby didn’t lack for anything. Nesta made sure Nina never felt unloved or forgotten. 

Nina looked down at the shape she stamped into the dough and her full lips titled upwards. 

It was her smile, most of all, that always made the particularly hard days worth it. Because Nina’s smile could light up the world, and maybe that was a proud mother’s opinion, but her upturned lips had yet to stop melting every heart she came across. 

Looking at her, Nesta’s eyes softened. Her hair had grown longer of course, falling in waves across her back, her eyes still as blue as ever. She had grown, but it was clear that she would not be a tall person. She was okay with this development. There would be two short people in the family now. What they lacked in height, they’d make up for in attitude and personality. 

They had heard the tune before they saw him. Heard the whistling of a sweet song that matched the weather outside, cool and soft. Nina had practically knocked over her stool in a haste to get to the door, leaving the pumpkin to wait patiently until she came back. All Nesta could do was smile in her direction. 

It was Cassian she was grateful for, whom she had to thank for not pulling her hair out or murdering an Illyrian during training days. Cassian had been there through it all. He promised to be and he was, an ever present force in their hectic lives. Nina loved him and she didn’t doubt for one moment that he didn’t feel the same. It made her cheeks warm to think of it, to think of him and all he had done for her and Nina. 

Cassian and her were souls meant to come together since the beginning of time, she did not reject that notion. She admits that she was scared at the prospect of him becoming someone she needed, someone she had to rely on. She didn’t like the thought of Cassian being someone she couldn’t live without, didn’t like the thought of anyone being that for her. 

She remembered the days when she first had Nina, remembered how he would come by and ask if she or the baby needed anything. She imagined how he looked, his sheepish expression and the way he would rub the back of his neck in nervous anticipation. He had expected her to reject him, but she couldn’t find it in herself to tug away from the pull that was firmly latched around her heart.

He was there when she needed him, and he was there when she didn’t. He took care of Nina, loved her like his own, treated her like someone who was worthy of love. She couldn’t expect anything less from Cassian. They both had been raised on too many sleepless nights and hungry days. So when Nina had invited Cassian all those weeks ago, to bake cookies with them, she couldn’t say no. Didn’t want to say no. And here he was, like he promised, she didn’t doubt that he wouldn’t be. 

~

Cassian whistled the tune he learned a lifetime ago. It was a content sort of song, one that resonated how he felt every time he thought of his two girls. Of course, they weren’t really his, but one day. One day he’d become a permanent fixture in their warm and happy family. 

He looked towards the large window. He could see the little girl prompt up on a stool Nesta had specifically bought with wings in mind. His heart fluttered when his eyes turned to the woman next to her. She had her hair up, tied with a ribbon, and an apron along her slim waist. 

He caught the tilt of her lips before he heard the door slam and saw the baby running towards him at full speed. But of course, she wasn’t a baby, not anymore. She was a young girl, becoming as beautiful as her mother every day. He couldn’t help the pride that filled his whole body.

“Cassian!” She yelled with giggles in her voice. 

He caught her as she lunged towards him. She was still so small, even after all these years. He hugged her all the way to the door, before setting her down. Standing her next to the pumpkins he had helped them carve just a few weeks ago, he laughed as he took her in. 

“Guess what, guess what, guess what?”

He smiled as he witnessed her enthusiasm.

“What princess?” 

Her grin grew wider at the endearment. 

“My wings grew two inches since the last time you saw me. Mama measured! Soon they’ll be as big as yours.” She said as she turned around to show him her growing wings. 

Cassian’s laughter could be heard from miles away. 

“Wow. Look at that. Princess, soon you’ll be a faster flyer than me. You’ll leave all the Illyrians in the dust.” 

His gaze swept up, from Nina and her ever present smile, when he saw to the figure who appeared in the doorway. He’d never get tired of that face. 

“If you two are done, the cookies aren’t going to bake themselves.”

And with that, grabbing Cassian’s hand, Nina raced into the kitchen, with the excitement only a child could muster. She pulled him all the way to the table and showed him the cookie cutter she had been using. Dough was rolled out and an array of icing sat in bowls on the table. The room was the perfect temperature for the fall breeze, and the smell of cinnamon and vanilla coated the air. 

He smiled at Nina, his little princess. She went on and on about how her and her mom had rolled out the dough in the early morning and how she had mixed different colors into the frosting so they could match the shapes she had laid out. There was nothing more wonderful than hearing her talk about things with such wonder. He was convinced there were few things better than a child’s imagination. 

He commented, encouraging her to tell him more. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Nesta at the counter, hiding a smile. Her eyes big and bright. 

He helped Nina cut out figures in the dough. Pumpkins, ghosts, and leaves. When they were done, Nesta come up behind them with a large tray. They each grabbed a few and spread them on the pan. 

Nina insisted she carry the tray to the oven. Cassian had opened it, while Nesta helped Nina so she wouldn’t burn herself. 

They worked in a unit, like a tiny army. He smiled at the thought. When he was around them, he could never stop smiling. Joy filled him to the brink of overflowing. This was what he wanted, this, to crowd in the kitchen with laughter soaking the walls as much as the sweet smells. He thanked every war and battle he’d ever been in for leading him to this moment. 

It wasn’t perfect, they weren’t perfect. Him and Nesta still had there, whatever it was. But he thought that maybe this was what paradise felt like. 

When the cookies were done, he was the one who took them out of the oven. Nesta chiding Nina to get away from the hot pan and Nina jumping up and down hardly containing her zeal. He was the one who promised Nina that he’d help her decorate every last one of them as soon as they were cool enough for the icing not to melt. 

And when they were indeed cool enough, him, Nesta, and Nina all grabbed a cookie and iced them in an array of reds and oranges and whatever other color happened to be on that table.

“Taking the first bite is reserved for the princess,” he had said to Nina. 

And when she did, complete joy washed over her face. Smiling wide she said.

“It’s good!” Nesta had just laughed at the pure exaltation on her little girl’s face. 

“Well, what do you expect when we all make them together.” 

He agreed. Love is the secret ingredient. He thought as he smiled inwardly. 

After they had nearly ate all of them, Nina had proclaimed he had to take some home with him, he didn’t tell her home was right here, with her and Nesta. 

He promised her a bed time story, and Cassian would be damned if he didn’t deliver every commitment he made to this sweet angel before him.

He had told her stories of his adventures, before Nesta, before everything. The people he met and the adventures he had with Rhys and Azriel. Leaving out the somber parts as much as the gory parts, partially for her mom’s sake and part for his own. 

Her eyes grew heavier after every word he uttered, and when her eyes glued themselves shut, he had simply made sure she was completely snug in her blankets, before Nesta turned off the lights and they both exited her room. 

They were quiet on the way down. Not a bad quiet, he thought. The comfortable silence was swallowed up by the sheer willpower of keeping himself away from Nesta. Because now that they were alone, all he wanted to do completely worship every inch of her and her beautiful soul. 

But he contained himself as he always did. He ignored the twinge of disappointment he thought flashed into her eyes. It was a dance they’d been playing for a while now, and he wouldn’t do anything until she said it was okay to do so. He had more to lose with her than ever before, and he wasn’t about to ruin any of it. 

As he walked into the doorway, ready to part ways, he swore his heart was about to fall out of his chest. He didn’t want to leave, not for anything in the world. They looked at each other then, and they merely stared without a word in between. It seemed they both had a lot to lose. 

After what felt like an eternity going around in circles, he bid his reluctant farewells. He gave Nesta a small smile, before walking out the door. Walking into the dark abyss that was slowly becoming his soul.


	3. The one where a pep talk is surely needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pep talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this feels really long, but I mean I guess it could be longer. Until next time
> 
> Brought to you by Fleurie and all her songs
> 
> Also, I’m sorry if this bumbed you out. The next one will be happier… probably.

“What does it feel like to fly?”

She had asked, the swing stopping its movement in response to her question. Her face unusually serious for a girl of her spirit and enthusiasm. 

He had taken her to the park this time around. Cassian had tried to make more than an effort to spend time with her. Especially now that she considered him her father. 

“Well.” he said sighing, his wings widening in answer.

“Your stomach lurches and your body panics, but somehow you feel relieved. I guess you’re so high up, you can’t fear the ground.” 

Nina titled her head towards the sky, closing her eyes, and breathing in the pure air all around them. It took her a while to ask the question he was, both, dreading and waiting for. 

“Do you think I could fly some day?” She said quietly, not looking directly at him. 

Nina’s wings hadn’t healed like they hoped they would. One still protruding at an angle sharper than the other. But this was his Nina, nothing in the world could stop this little girl. 

He was convinced the world was made just for her. And maybe that was a proud parent’s opinion, but who could blame him when they saw those bright eyes and big smile. 

Sensing the turn of his body, Nina looked up at him and only sheer conviction could be seen shining in his eyes. 

“I know you’ll fly someday, princess.”

~

“I can’t help but thinking you’re giving her false hope.” 

A bald statement coated with indifference. From a warrior to a warrior, a parent to a parent. 

“Someone has to hope. She’s a little kid, she doesn’t need to know the logistics of flying.”

Cassian sighed, shaking his head. 

“She just needs to know she can, that it’s possible.”

Nesta glanced at him, something like pity flashing in her eyes. He didn’t think he could hate anything on her perfect face, but that look. Never did he want to see that look again. He knew the sentiment wasn’t for the sweet girl in the adjoining room.

“Cassian, there’s a chance she won’t be able to fly. That’s the truth. Live with it, because it’s possible that she’s going to have to.”

Closing her eyes, Nesta continued. One word harder than the next. 

“I don’t want her to look at you and imagine what it would feel like to touch the sky, and I don’t want you to look at her and imagine what it would be like to teach her.” 

Nesta laid her hands on top of his own. 

“If she can’t fly, she can’t.”

He preferred the weight of death and decay more than the feeling that made a home in his gut. Staring into Nesta’s eyes and noticing the drops starting to blur her vision was enough to drop the subject all together. He could only nod. This was their baby, this was their baby and they promised she’d be loved forever. 

Wings or no wings. 

But his own couldn’t help but ache as he remembered the time when never feeling the wind underneath him was a very real possibility. 

~ 

The subject had never come back up again and he certainly didn’t mention it. Nina was content most days, her usual temperament and childlike wonder still present as the weeks passed on.   
It had only been a few weeks ago that dark circles had made a home on Nina’s face, and her eyes, that once resembled the sky, began to look like they were all about to be hit by rain. 

Nesta had come to him, eyebrows creased and not even a hint of a smile decorating her elegant face. He had let her in instantly. Somehow everything he owned seem to belong to her anyways. This was her house as much as his. 

With all the fury of a lioness, Nesta stalked around the room. A queen dancing in the stillness of the house. Her pacing only made him nervous, and somehow hope rushed through him that maybe this was day that she would proclaim she loved him. But when she sat down on the worn couch, head down, utterly defeated, he could clearly tell that it was not that day. 

“She’s sick.” Nesta proclaimed. 

The air knocked out of Cassian’s lungs. He immediately felt guilty for pondering the trivialities of love and not thinking of his little girl. Nesta took her everywhere she went, how did he not notice that she wasn’t here. A thousand worries entered Cassian’s mind. Was she okay, where was she, who was she with? Nesta silenced his anxious thoughts.

“Feyre’s watching her.”

That was not enough information, he wanted to scream. But instead he remained silent, the hardest thing he ever had to do when his baby could be suffering. Nesta looked up at him, with a small tilt of her lips. Nothing happy in that smile of hers. Sensing he was going to need all his strength, Cassian sat down beside her. 

“I took her to the healer the other day”

Cassian nodded his head, urging her to tell him what in the world happened.

“He said she could get surgery on her wings, that maybe there was a small chance she’d be able to fly. He told me it wasn’t guaranteed, that a million things could go wrong, some that might make everything worse. But Nina insisted, said that she needed her wings fixed now. She practically screamed it at him.”

He couldn’t blame her; he couldn’t live without his wings. Nesta’s solemn eyes told him that wasn’t the worst of it.

“The other day, I couldn’t find her anywhere and I looked for hours. I even asked Feyre and Rhys to help. I was out of my mind, but I finally found her. She was on the roof; I don’t even know how she got there.” 

Nesta shook her head.

“But she looked at me and she had tears in her eyes, and she said, ‘mommy, maybe if I just practice I’ll be able to fly.’ I swear Cassian, I felt like I was about to die. Rhysand caught her when she couldn’t.”

Cassian’s heart clenched. He had been training the Illyrians, he hadn’t been there all week. He should have been there, should have helped Nina, should have helped Nesta care for her. Where was he when they needed him? 

“She barely eats. I’ll check on her at night and I see her toss and turn over and over again.”

Tears formed in Nesta’s eyes, her fists clenched in her lap. He took them in his own, for both their sakes. She turned to face him. Through the bond, he knew, knew that she had tried everything in her power to make that little girl happy. 

“She hasn’t smiled in a week.” Her voice low. 

And that was the sentence that broke him, and broke him enough that the restraint to keep from her ceased to exist. He buried her in his arms, and she let him. He couldn’t let her go, and if anyone had tried in that moment, they would have found that he didn’t have the strength to fight them. He didn’t feel like he had any strength at all. 

~

That’s how he wound up outside. Sitting on the swing sit with Nina, just like they had a few weeks ago when she had asked the question he now regretted answering. She kicked her legs as the swing rocked back and forth, just like her showed her. She did not look at him, did not let him see her beautiful eyes and her soft skin. He wanted to push back the hair that fell in front of her face, but she had merely titled her head up to the sky once more. 

“Daddy, will you still love me if you and mama end up having more kids?”

His head whipped towards the little girl, astonishment clearly written on his face.

“Why would you ask a question like that? Of course, I’d love you.”

He felt appalled at the mere notion. Not loving her was as possible as the world ending tomorrow. Over his dead body. 

Nina looked down at her shoes, a habit, he noticed, that she did every time she asked a question he never ended up liking to hear. 

“Even if they’re fully yours?”

His eyes widened and even the birds stopped singing at that one. His heart suddenly felt a thousand times heavier than it had been before. 

“Where’d you hear that from?” he prompted. 

He wasn’t about to tell her anything she didn’t know. But Nina just continued to stare at her shoes. Cassian unable to read her expression. After what felt like a lifetime, she said, 

“I overheard Aunt Mor talking about it with Aunt Feyre.”

Fury shot up his spine before he even had the chance to contemplate the meaning behind those words. He was going to kill those two, so help him. 

Shaking his head, trying to contain the bitter feelings coursing through his body, Nina glanced at him. One look, Oh poor Nina. He couldn’t imagine having to hear that and then having to pretend nothing was wrong. 

Cassian sighed.

“How long have you known?”

Nina looked at him with such sad eyes, he wanted to melt her into his arms and never let go. 

“A few weeks.”

No wonder she’d been sick these past few days. The secret was eating her alive. Before he could even respond, Nina began again. 

“Will you still love me if you have kids and they’re stronger and faster than me?” She paused.

He never again wanted to hear the next words that came out of her mouth.

“If they can fly?”

She looked up at him then and he could see the unshed tears making a home in her precious, blue eyes and his heart broke in little pieces. Cassian quickly grabbed her, set her in his lap, and gently rocked her. 

When her crying had turned into little whimpers, and with all the gentleness he could find in his large body, he grabbed her face in his palms. She placed her hands on his wrists, and the gesture made it all the more difficult. Her hands were so much smaller than his. 

He wiped a tear that fell with his thumb, praying that it was the last tear to come out of her beautiful eyes. 

“I’m going to tell you something Nina, that I hope you’ll never forget. Never. Now I’ve kept all my promises to you, you think you can keep this one for me?”

Nodding her head, he went on.

“The funniest and most beautiful things about family is that the people who mean the most aren’t necessarily the people you are born with.”

Cassian swallowed, feeling all too familiar at the words forming on his tongue. 

“It’s the people you choose to love and the people who choose to love you. Family is a choice, a choice we make every day. To laugh together, to cry together, to swing together.” 

He pushed on the swing a little for emphasis. 

“And the best thing about that family you create is that no one holds more value than another. You see, family is like a tiny army, a unit created to build each other up. An army needs all its people, it’s only strong when their altogether.”

He smiled at Nina. Maybe he needed this talk, just as much as she did. 

“That’s how family works. No one is more precious than another, because you all chose to love each other, chose to take care of each other, chose to be strong together. So believe me when I say this, Nina”

She straightened at the sound of her name he rarely used to call her. 

“No matter how many children I or your mom may have, no matter if you were born to me or not, you are my daughter. And that will not change, no matter what seasons pass or how hard the wind blows. I promise you.” 

He tapped her nose, starting to see the light shine once more and a smile once again take residence on that perfect face. 

“And regarding your strength, I happen to believe that you are the strongest person I know, wings or no wings. You are the Nina that will shake the Earth and you are the Nina that I happen to love beyond any comprehension, that sometimes it scares even me. 

You got all that, princess?”

Behind her watery eyes was joy. She smiled her big smile that he missed so much his soul sang at the relief. She jumped into his arms, a place she knew she belonged, and buried her face into his neck. 

“I love you daddy.”

Cassian smiled. Joy coursing through his body in waves. 

“I love you too, baby. Always.”

~ 

Nesta thanked the cauldron every day that she had Cassian. Couldn’t even contemplate doing this without him. The person who ignited a flame in her she long thought had gone out, and then tended to the flames until they could warm a whole household. She would forever hold a debt to him for making her daughter smile again. 

Nina had continued to laugh at the whole ordeal, urging Cassian to push her higher on the swing set, Cassian never once hesitating to do so. 

She knew Cassian had noticed her as soon as she walked even remotely close to them. They could sense each other if they were on two opposite sides of a forest. He had let her hear him, let him hear the hope and love that filled his voice. 

When the day turned into night, Nina fast asleep in his arms, Cassian tucked her into bed. He was just on his way out, when she hugged him. She was grateful for him, every bit and piece of him, broken or whole. 

He had simply smiled and kissed her cheek, leaving behind an ache only he could fill. 

When the door had shut, she crawled up to Nina’s room to watch her baby like she so often did on nights like these. The nights she needed to be reminded that every part of her soul was still breathing in this house. 

She stayed there for a while, just breathing in the warm air all around her. She was about to leave when she heard a soft voice. 

“Mama, that goes the same way for you.” Nina said.

Nesta stared at the little girl in front of her, far more inquisitive and clever than she ever realized. Just like her mom. 

“I don’t love you any less for not being my real mom. You’ll always be mama to me.”

Nesta’s eyes felt watery again. 

“I’m sorry mama, did I say something sad? Do you want me to cry too so you won’t be alone?”

Wiping her eyes with the back of her hands, Nesta stared at those doe eyes and the sheer innocence contained within them. 

“No, sweet pea. I’m just happy.” She whispered.

Nesta smiled and so did Nina in response. When she was once again tucked her into bed and before shutting the door, Nesta spoke,

“You know, Nina, people have always said that it was a miracle that I found you. But I want you to know, you were the miracle. I’ve had the greatest and most happiest days, because of you.”

Nina glanced back and with the haughtiest smile she had ever seen on that baby’s face, Nina began.

“I am pretty fantastic aren’t I?”

A look of horror flashed on Nesta’s face and giggles burst out of Nina’s mouth, kicking the blankets up around her. 

“That’s it! You are not hanging out with your dad again.”

Nina just continued to laugh and laugh again, tears streaming out of her eyes. 

“Daddy said you’d say that.”

All Nesta could do was shake her head and pretend to be aggravated, when in actuality, her heart felt lighter than it ever had before. How in the world did she get so lucky?


End file.
